Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Reflection of 2008

As I'm ready to bid 2008 goodbye, there are a few things I remember 2008 for.

The good things

1) Got into NUS after praying and praying... Love that school!
2) Got my 1st laptop - Vaio!
3) Changed CG to W472
4) Rising up in CG
5) Baptized Mon in the HS! - 1st time!
6) Gave my 1st Bible study and subsequently many more
7) Co-hosted for a subzone event - breakthrough!
8) Earned a substantial income @ AIA which sustains me now
9) 1st attachment at St. Luke's Hospital
10) Got out of a relationship
11) Performed for Asia Conference and DBS @  Shangri-la
12) Obtained a Merit for Grade 5 piano exam
13) Distinction for Grade 5 music theory
14) Bridesmaid for Jeff kor's wedding
15) Lost weight!!! (Whether's it's fats or muscle mass, I don't know. =x)

As you can see I did a lot of 1sts on my 21st, so 2008 IS ONLY THE BEGINNING.

And now...

The not-so-good things

1) Cello is still stagnant.
2) Results for 1st Sem is not up to expectation.
3) Only at Grade 6 for piano cos my teacher doesn't want her students to skip any! Maybe it's good...?
4) Got into a relationship
5) Haven't gotten my driving license or taken BASIC theory even... Product of procrastination.
6) My not-so-little brother got into trouble!

And hmmm...

I am stuck. I'm sure there're many not-so-good things which happened! But I can't remember.........

Sooo this is my 2008. =) Not exactly very WOW... Humble beginning! Haha.

Greater things are still to be done.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Unafraid
What's ahead
You are always there before (me)

I feel my life is a teeny bit in danger now but I'm not scared. Come what may yea.

Some people are afraid of death, some are afraid of living. However, when we are convicted that God is IN control, there's really nothing to be afraid of.

Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

Just 2 verses down...

And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed.”

Deuteronomy 31:8

Isn't that so assuring? I know I can put my trust in God because His promises never fail me. :')

Monday, December 29, 2008

 

When the stage is bare tonight
There's no one else
Just You and me

Christmas is over, the fanfare is through. It is back to the stillness of my room, back to my first love.

When the curtains close behind
There's no pretense
I'm on my knees

Behind closed door, I show Him my weaknesses, I tell Him my fears. He knows me and watches as I cry myself to sleep.

I will lay down my life
For the love sacrifice You gave to me

For the first time last night, this sentence hit me as I laid on my bed singing. I guess I've been self-centered for too long, it's time to look beyond the little dear life that I live.

 

..... .... ... .. .

 

I'M LOVING MY HOLIDAYS!!!

Not that I did anything special, but with my free time, my love for music grew! I'm practising the piano and CELLO even more now! (Mini breakthrough to even practise cello... =X) And I'm choosing classical music over other genres to listen to... I don't know what happened inside me Haha.

Music is supposed to come freely out of you and I felt kinda suppressed before holidays so it was awful. Sometimes it was demoralizing to even play anything.... So I didn't.

How I wish I can just focus on music...

My ultimate ultimate childhood dream is still very very much alive. That is to be a performing pianist above all else. And I hope I can live long enough to fulfill that dream.

Talking about dreams! Last night I dreamt that  a baby shark bit my hand twice!!! (Ultimate random dream...)

HAHA...

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Awww... Have been seeing my beloved Cai on Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing day!

Stayed over her place on the Eve and we stayed up till 4am! We were lying on her couches and talking... Instead of saying a sweet "Goodnight", we said "Shut up" and fell asleep. Haha... My best friend indeed.

And so we woke up at 9am on Christmas Day and had breakfast with her family. SO happy for her!!! Cos her whole family went to church for service! =)

And on Boxing day... I went over to her place again and we went CYCLING. From Chinese Garden, through Jurong East to Bukit Batok Nature Park and BACK. HAHA. Our butts hurt like crazy now HAHA.

Reached her place at 9pm and had dinner... After that we sang some praise and worship songs and she taught me how to lead! So cool.

My perfect date! =)

She's simply AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best friend forever!!! Lol...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Woo Hoo.... It's CHRISTMAS EVE!

I'm glad the year is ending and the ending is definitely better than the beginning HAHA. Christmas is also a harbinger to a new year and many greater things ahead. Cool~

I'll be doing a reflection of 2008 and goal setting for 2009 with my connect group this weekend. Nice! Though a lot of things which happened in 2008 seem very distant now, due to my bad memory? Haha.

Anyway, went for service just now! It was great! The drama was super funny and happy that 2 of my friends from school joined me too!

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Was writing some cards last night, am I disorganized? Haha, I love stickers! I still buy them if I see cute ones like the colourful hearts!!!

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Many many people for service! =)

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Candle lights! 

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My 2 friends! Your future nurses. A whole new generation of us is rising up, taking the hospitals by storm. Lol... 

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She's so cute! Like a doll hahaha.

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"Have yourself.... A merry little Christmas....." =X

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Bearer of light in a world of darkness.

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I LOVE THIS GIRL!!! My beloved Cai~ =) The one who brought me to church, whom I kept rejecting, yet she kept asking. Hehe. So touched now that I think back... =')

Happy Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

(Written last night...)

Wow today was awesome. Finally had a taste of HOLIDAY...

Went to school to submit some stuff and then headed down to Marina Square to look around for gifts but didn't buy any in the end... Think I'm bad in buying gifts haha. Anyway I'll try again tmr. Last minute Christmas shopping!

Headed down to Esplanade library after that. FINALLY!!!!!!!!!! I miss that place. Used to frequent there... Anyway I brought along a book to read and was listening to Yo-yo Ma. Haha. Trying to get some motivation for cello...

Btw the CDs there now have a special cover which can be locked and unlocked. So to unlock it we have to go to the counter and give your IC no and handphone no. TROUBLESOME.

It used to be that we could just take whatever CDs we wanted and listened within the library. BUT I'd have guessed that people without integrity have stolen a lot of CDs to cause the library to have such measures now. IRRITATING.

And so I read...

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And read...

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AND READ...

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Can you see my reflection? =) Haha

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Until Steph came...

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And we went down for an outdoor performance while the cool wind blew! =)!

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Romantic? HAHA!

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Bumped into beloved Cai too! =)!

It was simply an awesome day cos I got to spend time alone Haha...

(^;^)v

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Wow, guess what?

I woke up at 2pm!!!!!!!

Latest ever in 2008... 2 weeks of attachment has certainly taken a whole lot of me and the 10.5 hours of sleep was a luxury. No dreams or anything, just a total shut down of my body! Cool...

Glad that attachment has ended and holiday has begun!!! FINALLY! I'm so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =) It spells meeting up with friends, chilling and catching up with my piano and cello practices! LOVING IT!!!!

Anyway! If you haven't seen me in my nus nurse uniform and can't possibly imagine............ Here are some pics...

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Lobby and entrance of St Luke's. Bad shot cos I was rushing to reach on time. Haha.

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We worked in the SAME ward! So our shifts were alternate. And AHEM! She was the finalist for NEWFACE 2008!!! Top 20! SO COOL RIGHT... Some guys were already asking me about her when they saw this pic in Facebook. Tsk tsk! HAHAHA...

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Us with my clinical preceptor from Philippines.

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2 others from another ward

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All the nurses in my ward... This was taken after work and I always changed immediately cos I felt more relieved? Haha. Look at them! They were always so happy working! Never once did I see them with a grumpy face.

And see, I'm the only Singaporean. Hoping that more will join me in the nursing adventure!!!! It's something not to be missed in this lifetime!!! =P

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They had a Christmas party and potluck. We ate and ate... And ate. Cos they cooked nice stuff. This pic is kinda small but again, all are foreigners except for the 4 of us in white. Sigh...

Really quite disheartened... Anyway, I'll try my best to recruit more people? hahaha. But if it's not your calling then it's better not to.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Oh hehehehhehehhehe.

2 more dear days at St. Luke's HAHA!

I'm so happy recently... I don't really know why exactly but I think it has something to do with being a nurse???

I am loving it!!!!!

But not the waking up at 6am part... HAHA... I love the patients there, they are SO CUTE....... SO SO! LOL... Though they are very very much advanced in age, but they are so child-like in many ways.

I wanna improve in my Mandarin and dialect!!!!!! After 7 days, I can communicate better haha. But still, I don't know how to express a lot of words...

A patient was quite funny, made me laughed out loud haha! She's a Malay woman with dementia and I always like to tease her for fun haha! Today she told me she wanted a boyfriend... And asked me to find TWO for myself... Tsk tsk. LOL... She's 80+ already haha.

I talked to another patient too. She is 90, very frail and kept telling me that she was going to die cos her relatives have been visiting her. She thinks too much I think. Hmmm...

Hope my last 2 days will be good. As much as I like it, I can't wait to leave and have my (well-deserved) holiday haha...

I NEED A BREAK............................

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Day in the Hospital

 

3 more days to end of attachment. YESSS....... I can see it coming...........

Well, something interesting happened today. As my ward doesn't have any patient with Nasogastric tube (NGT), my clinical instructor brought me to another ward to witness a NGT feeding.

Later at night I was to do it myself. She showed me to the patient's bed, it was screened cos other nurses were helping him with stuff. So we waited outside.

When they were done and curtains were drawn, me and my friend were kinda appalled by what we saw. 1/4 of the patient's head was gone, so it was like a huge dent in the head. He was also contractile and kept making grunting noises.

Anyway, he became my guinea pig, quite a big challenge considering it was my first time feeding through a tube. SO what happened was... When I opened the cap at the mouth of the tube, some of the stomach's hydrochloric acid splattered on my dear face.

Ewww... I was traumatized for a while. I could SMELL it and felt a slight burning sensation in my eye but thank God it didn't go into my eyes but near it only.

Well, the procedure still had to go on! It was just mild acid so nothing to fuss over... While pouring the liquid food (something like beige-coloured milk) into the tube, the patient made a relatively loud grunt. My heart jumped cos I was so focused on pouring those stuff and there were many other things to take note of at the same time...

Phew. Thank God the feeding was done smoothly. :) It took about half an hour? After that I had to daze for a while to collect back myself hahaha.

Does it sound like fun? Hahaha~ :)

Just came back from the hospital... Nothing dramatic enough to talk about hahaha. Just that an elderly woman asked me to marry her son HAHAHAHA.

Anyway, she's demented so it's nothing alarming. My ward has a number of patients with dementia so they say (and do) all sorts of things. Haha. They simply want our attention. And it kinda sadden me that they have little family support...

I get a tingling sensation down my legs whenever I witness an injection... Anything more my legs would probably give way??? Haha hope not. How can I work in an operating theatre next time I wonder...

Can't wait for Friday 3pm to come, then I can officially have a holiday!!! It's DECEMBER...

..... .... ... .. .

Yesterday!!! Had an impromptu meet-up with Jeff and a few ushers and we went SUNTEC!!! LOL... Been wanting to go cos I haven't been there for a LONG LONG time... So happy HAHA!

Aileen has EMERGED!

We went to play at the ARCADE!!! Lol fun! I think I was/am probably deprived. Haha... Friday friday...

Jeff passed me a thumbdrive with all his wedding photos and I dug out some more interesting ones hahaha.

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HAHA! This was when I just woke up, I was the last to wake up and we had to immediately change and stuff... Lol. The paper had some lipsticks and Jeff was supposed to guess his wife's HAha. He got it!

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This is totally classic. Like an advertisement picture for the camera!!! HAHA! I was pretty amused by Jeff's drawing, he was trying to draw an unicorn lol...

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All the jie meis + siong dis at Jeff's house with his family! For the tea ceremony... Many people!

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Meet the parent session!LOL... Kidding. Talking to his dad and godmum from HK... They are really nice and funny~

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And the couple! Ta da! =)!

I have a thing for cameramen! I think they are so into their own world and are kinda mysterious, solitary + sentimental hahaha.

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And recently I developed a sudden liking for SOFT TOYS and everything cute hahaha. Eww...

Not hinting. LOL...

Another reason why I can't wait for FRIDAY is cos we're gg to have our first CHRISTMAS CG! Expecting lots of fun and LAUGHTER lol...

(^;^)v

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Hi I'm still awake! So it's still Friday to me. TGIF!!! =)

Did my first afternoon shift today (1pm-9pm) and it was better than morning shift cos that starts at 7AM... WANT MY DEAR LIFE!!!

It was very peaceful at night, not the scary and eerie atmosphere the media always portrays a hospital to be.

It's my 4th day and I'm glad I'm gradually gaining confidence to deal with the patients.

Hopefully things will get more interesting next week.

..... .... ... .. .

Have been debating within myself whether or not I should actually stop playing the cello...

*sing* Where is the passion I needed the most?

I told my teacher about this... Well actually I've stopped learning for some time already but I still regard him as my teacher haha. So I always update him/whine about my cello progress and all since he taught me from scratch...

Anyway what he told me made sense... However, unless I do something about the word imparted, nothing's gonna change at the end of the day. It was very nice of him to offer me free lessons if I'm willing to continue... Quite touched actually...

But my mind's in a disarray now... Need some time to sort/iron out my thoughts...

Perhaps I just need some sleep... Then perhaps some fabulous solutions will pop up...

Haha.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

 

Today's the SECOND DAY of attachment! So far it's been great, my preceptors and fellow colleagues are nice. It was truly an eye-opener into the elderly world.

Of course there are still lots of getting-used-tos... Like familiarizing with the plethora of abbreviations used.

I was reading through the patients' (endless) records, one big stack of documents for just one patient. Every minute detail has to be accounted for!

Well, I came across this diagnosis which left me -> *???!!!*

Diagnosis: IT # S/P DHS, ARU - Now on IMC, dehydration, ? Sepsis - D TX on rocephine.

Exact words/letters written.

+ Diseases I've never known existed such as Meliodosis, Guillain Barre Syndrome?! ... Sooo... Lots of homework to do now.

St. Luke's Hospital is a community hospital where things can get really wols... Most of the patients in my ward are in their 70s and 80s. Reason for admission is mainly for rehabilitation.

Since things are wols, we have more time to interact with the patients and inevitably there are already some connectedness/bonds formed. Cos I know I'll miss them when I leave next Friday.

One thing, I don't know why I kept having homesickness while in the hospital for these 2 days... Or sometimes even when I'm away from home in other parts of Singapore. Haha unfathomable...

Oh, one of our classmates fainted this morning during a wound dressing. Was it the sight or the smell or due to low blood sugar? Not sure. A mass(ive) sms was sent to all of us to remind us to have breakfast hahaha. Will have a chance to witness a wound dressing tmr. Yay.

Everyday is unpredictable and that makes it fun. It's a tragedy that a lot of nurses are foreigners. I was the only Sgrean nurse out of 6 in my ward today. It provokes me a little but I don't know what to say about this...

Anyway...

In any way...

Where I can revamp something in the hospital... I WOULD PLAY "GREEN DAY" SONGS WHOLE DAY LONG in my ward. HAHAHA. Or at least some Christian songs.. Or the very least some soothing classical songs.... I MEAN... There should be something else in the air other than micro-organisms?!?!

Wahaha...

Must copyright my fabulous idea. Lol...

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Whee... Went out with Mr G. just now. Well, I was hungry and so we went to eat while he only drank (cos he was/is on diet or sth? Lol..) What happened was, at the end Mr G. used his debit card to pay...

AND... When the waitress returned with his card, she said "THIS IS FOR YOU..."

I LAUGHED and LAUGHED so hard (till I smudged my makeup LOL...) cos I thought it was hilarious~

THIS IS FOR YOU?! It's his in the first place??? =X Ok la I was/am so mean. It wasn't exactly very funny but at that moment it just sparked something in me hahaha.

Well, sometimes I say the stupidest thing too and people laugh, but I think it's really fine haha.

..... .... ... .. .

And I just hanged up a phone call with a friend... We went crazy and started singing OLD SCHOOL songs like

1) A1 - Like A Rose and Every Time
2) Tarzen?! Tarzen is handsome... Tarzen is strong...
3) I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world er er... LOL
4) Trademark - 2am
5) Beatles - Yesterday and Let It Be
6) Colin Raye - Love Me
7) The Way You Look Tonight
8) Adam Sandlers - Grow Old With You

At 1am?!?!?!  Waha... Secondary school is still the BEST!!!!! I remember we used to print lyrics and even filed them and brought it to school and sing!! Lol...

I was singing Trademark - 2am DURING a test cos I completed it early and was bored... Haha a friend came up to me and complained. =X And presently I still have the tendency to hum or sing whenever I feel like haha.

It's so me?!

. .. ... .... .....

Having my first attachment later... Seriously don't know what to expect...

Monday, December 08, 2008

Haha, please ignore the previous post. Wrote that at a stressful moment when I was about to go for piano lesson and I felt very unprepared... Afraid that teacher would be angry!

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Friday was our subzone Ebuddy event so I was stressful too cos I felt unprepared for that too, and I had a few tasks to do... I printed the lyrics of the newer songs and sang my way home after lesson, afraid I'd forget the lyrics!

BUT!!! 

Piano lesson turned out not bad AND the event went well!!! The drama was SO FUNNY and Celine's performance too!!! Wow, it was a breakthrough for me to be hosting some items and being a Backup Vocalist for Amber and Shing!!! Dream come trueeeee!!!! Happy happy. =)

I was smiling to myself a lot when I reached home haha! Can't contain my joy and excitement. Lol...

(^;^)v

..... .... ... .. .

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N256 reunion! (2 months ago~) May be reunioning again next wed! Awww... Miss them! Hope that more people can come~~~

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Performance @ Shangri-la (Last month)

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In school! After lecture before the above performance... Lol...

12 pics suddenly to compensate for the lack of pics in my blog haha! Cos my camera's battery charger is at someone's house and the HP I'm using is not mine. So = no pics!

+ camera-shy...

Lol...

Friday, December 05, 2008

 

I'm going bonkers.

Everything that can go wrong, went wrong...

Seriously.............

2009 come quick!

Thursday, December 04, 2008

-

Ho Ho. Exam's over~~~ Wheeee~

Now I know why people use the word 'hotline'~ Recently (for a few WEEKs actually) a friend has been calling me to talk about some problems... (A lot in fact) Sooo... We'd talk till my HP turns HOT and dies...

AILEEN THE AUNTie AGONY?

I think there are a lot of people who have too much to say but no outlet, or rather they are selective over which outlet. So I'd say it's my privilege to be an outlet for people hehe. Again it comes with the responsibility of maintaining confidentiality.

Most of the stuff people talked about was mainly about relationships. With girlfriends, friends, family members... Why? Becos ultimately life is made up of relationships...No man is an ulu island right? And relationships are matters of the heart which is why people even bother talking and fussing over it.

So I'd say it's my privilege and pleasure (or rather something I do willingly) to be there for people who need a listening ear.

Of course, for myself... I have a few friends to hear my ventings too hahaha. They should know who they are lol....

=X

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

 

I woke up in SHOCK today as I thought I was late for paper when there was actually no paper......... My fear is to sleep blissfully through an exam and wake up to realize I can't take the paper anymore.

It seems like I'm the LAST person still taking exams among all my uni friends.. Having my LAST paper tmr and it's about "Ethics and Law"... LAW is the driest and boringest thing to study...

But it's an extremely important subject in the healthcare arena since life and death are in our hands. Heh heh. Treat me nice! Hahaha. Of course it's not something to be taken lightly, there're lots of responsibilities.

"Inexperience or being a learner is NO excuse." How true... It doesn't matter if you have just started for a day or a year, people's expectation from a nurse/doctor (or whatever professions) will be based on their general impression of how a GOOD nurse/doctor is supposed to be.

Well, doesn't everyone expect the best since it concerns our precious live... :)

The greatest nightmare/fear for any healthcare professional is to cause the death of someone either unintentionally/accidentally... It'd a guilt we have to carry throughout our entire life.

For example, administrating the wrong medication (You know how small/freakish/alienish/long the names can be) which can cause adverse  reactions -> death. Or fall -> pneumonia -> death. Or revealing the prognosis of a disease to an unprepared patient -> suicide.

Or many other freak accidents or mistakes...

It's daunting to just think about that... 

Really need to work in close partnership with God cos I can't do it on my own... It's the involvement of physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual strength.

And when I am weak, He is strong.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Ooo... I didn't know there are unknown visitors to my blog... I think I should write something more intelligent in future? Haha~

I'll be going to the IT fair @ Expo in a few hours' time, feeling scared!!!! Haven't been to one before and I have already heard many stories of the crowd! Gosh... I really don't like crowds...

But for the sake of my Sony VAIO!!!! I'LL GO THE EXTRA MILESSS............ (I stay in the west...) Thinking of getting an iPod too? I can't stand it without music... Has been like that since I lost my HP few months ago... Wonder if they sell HPs @ Expo?

Haha, I totally don't know what to expect over there... Shing told me to bring an umbrella to shield myself from people??? LOL... Bargain + crowd + UMBRELLA = total AUNTIE package!!!

Anyway, my cg is SO funny! HAHA! They (or rather 'We'? =P) are the cutest people ever!!! :)

..... .... ... .. .

This December will be an exceptional one for me...

IT'S THE 1ST DECEMBER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE EXAMS. And after exams, I will be ATTACHED.............  To ST LUKE'S HOSPITAL for 2 weeks.

My first attachment. :) Don't know what to expect too. ANYTHING can happen in a hospital. Just hope that my patients will all be safe and healthy and be discharged before Christmas!!!

And then finally, after exams and attachment, I can celebrate Christmas peacefully and happily!!! (^;^)v

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Gotta leave soon... Nervous!

Friday, November 28, 2008

I feel extremely relieved in this inappropriate exam period. Haha. Managed to get some stuff off my chest and see some true colours. Nothing pisses me off more than indecisiveness. I feel my heart leaping with joy lol...

"All things will work together for the good of those who love Him"

I believe God has greater things in store for me!  =) I wanna give someone a big hug now! Lol...

..... .... ... .. .

I grabbed a book (Talent is never enough - John C. Maxwell) while on the way out yesterday. Don't like wasting time in the train staring at people~ Never did I know that when I flipped to the page I bookmarked, it spoke starkly at me. As if shouting.

"Perseverance Sustains Your Talent"

That's the title for that chapter and it brought me back on track.

"If you run every step of the race well except the last one and you stop before the finish line, then the end result will be the same as if you never ran a step."

. .. ... .... .....

Off for piano! My teacher is in a bad mood recently.... Scariness + stress....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

 

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Me and Jeff Kor. Nice shot huh! :) So happy that he's promoted to Usher Section Leader, overseeing 40 teams (or issit 40 people?). Anyway, proud of him~ (^;^)v

Glad I bumped into him on Friday and he offered his Usher dinner =X Otherwise I'd have starved man. Bumped into him on Sunday too. And he offered to store my cello in his car so I wouldn't have to carry it all the way home... And today he passed it to me below my house~ So sweet right hahaha.

Talking about Cello... I really don't like carrying my Cello around esp in crowded places like MRT, bus, and EXPO....... Cos I don't like people banging into it or even touching it. =X Ya quite particular... And recently I'm contemplating whether or not to give up playing....... At least for the moment....

My teacher told me not to give up and not to look down on myself cos it takes YEARS to play well... Though I've heard it before, I need this kind of constant encouragement (esp from musicians) to keep me going in music........

Wish I can have lessons again...

Monday, November 24, 2008

*AILEEN HAS ASIA CONFERENCED*

I went for only 3 days.

Friday - I got really lost as I didn't know the 'strategies' of queuing. Wanted to go for 'songwriting' elective but they reduced it to 1 elective that day so I missed it.

Saturday - Had an exam in school, not bad I THINK... But not very good either I THINK... Planned to study in school, but Mr G. called and 'encouraged' me to go... Felt a strong urge to go too. Gotta carry my big and bulky dismantled hamster cage for him in the end. Lol. So mad. May your hamsters live happily ever after in that cage.

Today - Slept only for 3 hours + cos I was too troubled? Had a performance in the morning but disappointed with my playing. The stage was suddenly bright and that made it hard to focus due to my dry eyes + glare. Overall was good I heard. HP went dead after that and I got LOST again. Actually a part of me wanted to be alone... Just a tendency when I feel emo?

Very thankful that for all 3 days, I managed to sit in HALL8! And most importantly I was touched by God every day. Otherwise it'd be a futile trip and a waste of time. But I'd say my heart wasn't in AC due to the 4 impending exams in the next 2 weeks................

..... .... ... .. .

I was lying on bed last night and I began to sing:

Change my heart O God
Make it ever true
Change my heart O God
May I be like You

I just kept singing in between sobs... I didn't even know how out of the blue this song popped out. But it was a good time.

"Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

So I guess our heart stores treasures and our brain stores information?

"Change my heart O God"

How? By taking away the 'old' treasures that we stored in the past, which may not be a treasure anymore, and make room for greater ones?

Something to think about.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

 

I know it's pretty late now and I have to wake up pretty EARLY later.... BUT I gotta get some things off my chest.

Benny Hinn's session was GREAT today, no doubt. But I'm just disappointed when I saw some things. YA disappointed. Should I even be? Since it DIDN'T involve me.

But it DID affect me. To see people NOT RESPECTING the presence of God... To take their seats at expo HALL 8 FOR GRANTED when people who came from faraway had to sit in the overflow area.

That disturbed me greatly. I felt angry at those people. But I told myself there wasn't any point getting angry. I couldn't change their attitude anyway. But yes it irked me even now.

What would God feel? Probably worse than me.

Must people always learn by the hard way? Of losing something/someone first before realising?

..... .... ... .. .

Ok I'm performing later so I guess I have to sleep now.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Had a great and wonderful time with God last night in my room... I know He's watching over my life and taking care of me. (Cos my allowance more than doubled this month, it just shows something) I need a black and white answer. A yes or a no. A definite answer. Cos it'll probably affect the rest of my life.

When I'm weak, You're strong
You're my feet when I can't move on...

They say, on the deathbed, the only thing that still matters are the PEOPLE who hold special places in your heart. They are probably people who stick with you till the end. At this moment, who are those people in your life? :)

..... .... ... .. .

Glad I'm done with my revision for Saturday's exam. Starting on another subject now... It's SO SO hard to sit still and study!!! HAHA. So I have to study over a LONG period but still manage to study what I have to.

Ya and performance is on Sunday. I'm feeling nonchalant about it, probably cos it's still quite far to me... Thinking I still have to complete an exam first.

Past rehearsals have been quite an experience, we met Kelly Tang, the composer for that song. And there was a cellist from SSO who joined us. So both him and Elgin combined power and I feel quite stressed playing with them. Haha.

Ok la, it's good. My cello teacher once told me in order to improve I must play with better cellists though sometimes you feel like crap. For my case, it's probably hard to find worse players, so by default I'm always playing with better cellists. Ya it's good cos I find myself slowly improving each time I play. :)

. .. ... .... .....

What a Friend I've found
Closer than a brother
I have felt Your touch
More intimate than lovers

Jesus
Jesus
Jesus
FRIEND FOREVER!

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

 

Chopin - Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 (Played by: Li Yundi)

It gave me horripilation (refer to my 'Nerdy Box' on the right column =P) the moment he started playing... After playing, it almost seemed like he had to collect back his body, mind and soul before standing up to face the audience.

Enjoy~

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

 

Still needing a lot of sleep... My studies are at stake. Haha

Was just reading about Obama and one thing that touches me most is his love for his wife. It actually brought tears to my eyes... Maybe cos I'm sick and wimpy and all hahaha.

I'm glad he won the election. When I first saw him, I was hoping he could win cos he looked/s GENUINE and UNASSUMING. He has a pleasant face to look at haha. And I believe it radiates from within.

He got me interested in politics HAHA... At least a little bit... :)

 Obama

Monday, November 17, 2008

 

Argh I'm SICK!!! Having a cold and just feeling fatigue, that I slept a lot today. Haha. My dear KJ was quite cute... "Nurse get sick too?" Lol. YES, in fact the probability is probably higher. =P

Btw, it's our exam break now. So proud of myself cos I woke up at 8 plus this morning to study!!! Lol... But HAD to lie down on my bed after every topic due to the sickness. But wasted the whole afternoon cos I was drowsy and all.....

Am now studying about the NERVOUS SYSTEM which consists mainly of the BRAIN and the SPINAL CORD... My most dreaded topic... Cos it's quite foreign to me and it contains a lot of alien terms. Neuroglia, astrocytes, oligodendrocytes..............?!!?!?!?!?!

='( !!!

Obliviously, I blurted out a question to a friend, "So what does the brain do??" Lol It sounds ridiculous right. BUT DO YOU KNOW? Haha. Gosh... Sometimes the more I study the more confused I get. Or rather, the more I study the more I find out a lot of things which I thought I know but I don't.

Test's on this Saturday and it constitutes 70% of the overall mark for that subject. I MUST do well if not it'd be a big letdown. :(

Ok I'm off...

Friday, November 14, 2008

Sigh, I broke down in school just now. And in a bus on the way home, like your typical tv serial scene. Probably overwhelmed. Disappointed with myself. 

I've seen other classmates breaking down too. And one thing about my course is, all our tutors are nurses. They are sharp to spot any anomalous behaviour and will deal with it within a short period. They are also very motherly which make us feel very 'protected' in school haha. 

Sometimes I wish I can be like other 'normal' schoolmates, where the only commitment they have is just going to school and doing well for exams. How free! How boring.

It's often heard, "there is only so much a person can do." Maybe it's true, maybe it's just an excuse not to stretch ourselves.

My tutor once said "It's either you be a good nurse, or you don't be a nurse at all." It struck me. It's true, once we set our heart to do something, it's either we do it well or we don't do it at all. At times, I wonder if I'm up to it.

Many times I ask myself, "What am I really good in?" Sometimes, I struggle to find an answer.

Am I pushing myself too hard? It just gets frustrating when you KNOW you have the potential to do something better but you're not reaching it.

..... .... ... .. .

On a lighter note, have you ever watched how an AMPUTATION is done??????

I was studying with a friend in the library last night and he showed me a video on youtube, featuring an above-knee amputation............................ And insisted I should watch it since I hope to work in the operating theatre next time....... Hahaha..

It was... Erm... Interesting? I can't think of an appropriate word to describe. It was pretty much like a butchering scene, but everything was done neatly and swiftly.

Hmmm... Come to think of it, there's nothing quite disgusting or cruel/inhumane about it. They are simply procedures that HAVE to be carried out for the better of the patient. And someone, somehow, has to do it.

I hope the public has more knowledge about what goes on in a hospital before making judgment...

P.S: Erm... Maybe this is not a 'lighter note'... Lol...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

It's such a relief to have handed in my essay! Such such! (^;^)v

But I know it's a short-lived one, cos end of semester exams start NEXT WEEK. 5 exams over 3 weeks...

Anyway, hope to catch MADAGASCAR 2 this week! For some reasons, I like cartoonish shows like Finding Nemo, Ratatouille... I find them v.cute and fascinating to watch haha.

And oh, yesterday it hit me, upon seeing shops displaying deco, that CHRISTMAS is coming!!!!!! It's a magical time when you can literally feel the love in the air hahaha... =) What makes it more special this year is knowing that when Christmas arrives, I'd have already gone through my EXAMS, ASIA CONF and ATTACHMENT. Yay celebrate!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Once again, I'm awake at a crazy hour, trying to finish up my essay (to be submitted at 1pm later)! I have come to realise that writing such a long essay is like fixing a jigsaw puzzle, trying to piece every part  together to form a nice (hopefully =P) and complete piece.

Strangely while doing, there is a joy in my heart. LOL.. Quite enjoy it. But it's so hard to even add 100 words hahaha. But I hope I can do up a good essay.

..... .... ... .. .

I'm so happy today hahaha. Reason being my dad is going to buy me a PRINTER and HANDPHONE (thank God I didn't buy earlier =X)! And also gave me SOME $$$. =)!!!!!

Wow MIRACLE!!! Wanna walk under open heaven! Believing for a LAPTOP next......... =)

Thanks Yang for your 3 logs of SINFUL treats too. Flown specially from Down Under hahaha. I haven't eaten them and I don't dare to!!!!!! LOL... I'd probably take 1 month to finish them. =P

. .. ... .... .....

I'm seriously mentally fatigue now... *sing* I'M A SURVIVOR, I'M NOT GONNA GIVE UP! Haha whatever right?

1000 words to go...... At least I have a friend and iTunes to accompany me haha.

..... .... ... .. .

Ok it's nap time.

(-_-)zzZ

Saturday, November 01, 2008

 

The Secret Garden - Winter Light

 

Hearts call, hearts fall,
Swallowed in the rain.
Who knows, life grows,
hollow and so vain.

Wandering in the winter light
the wicked and the sane,
bear witness to salvation
and life starts over again.

Now the clear sky is all around you
Ahh ahh
Love's shadow will surround you
all through the night.

Stars glowing in the twilight
Tell me true
Hope whispers and I will follow
Till you love me too

Chanced upon this and I think it's a magical song cos it can transport one into another world in an instant. If you've read the book "The Secret Garden", it's the perfect song for the scene when they entered the garden. Hehe.

Enjoy~

..... .... ... .. .

I feel sick, or is it just a psychological effect? I love challenges, but I think I got more than I asked for.

:) ?

Wow I'm still up despite a LONG day.

Had a project presentation earlier, glad that I didn't have STAGE FRIGHT. I wasn't nervous at all and my hands were warm. Miracle! Haha. Cos say 1 or 2 years ago, I'd just freak out la.

Talked to 6 people on the phone tonight (which explains why I'm still up) and that is also a MiRaCLe considering I'm not the phone type. Slowly beginning to like it though... :)

Yet another LONG day tmr, but I am feeling good now hehe.

(^;^)v

Kailin reminded me that "those who waters will be watered himself" Wow, thanks!!! =)

..... .... ... .. .

Phyzzzio test result is OUT. Kinda disappointed with it cos I didn't do well, and I wanna do well.

Anatomy test was OVER. Kinda disappointed with it cos I know I couldn't do as well as previous.

My gradessss.....

I hope I can write a good essay on TERRI SCHIAVO. Cos I like writing  GPish stuff and I wanna redeem myself. :(

Believing is seeing!!!

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Oh oh... I'm in the school library now. Gonna study till late again... TEST's ON THURSDAY!!! Really wanna do well for it. Happy with my level of motivation to study, as compared to last week which was the most unfruitful one since school started. I shall not give in to my flesh so often!!!

Tmr's a CRAZY crazy day. Totally. In fact the next 2 months are CRAZY. God, please give me new strength every day!!! More than just strength, the wisdom to do things right...

..... .... ... .. .

"My God reigns... His love will never fail me... My God reigns... He's ruling over all..."

This song has been stuck in my head since Sunday and it occasionally brings tears to my eyes when I sing it silently wherever I travel. So touched by God~ It's a reminder to me that God is in control over every situation and that all things will work together for the good of those who love Him.

AMEN!!!

Ohhh... I'm so happy in my heart even in the midst of crazy days. :)!

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Have you heard of one of the latest news regarding AMD? It stands for Advance Medical Directive. It's a form which a person signs in advance to disallow any form of artificial methods to sustain life should the person becomes terminally ill (no more cure!) and can't make rational decisions anymore. 

Do you remember Terri Schiavo? The woman who had a sudden stroke and  cardiac arrest out of the blue, which led her to being dependent on machines for her survival. She was diagnosed as being 'brain dead' by 2 doctors. Her being on machines lasted for 15 years. The problem was...

For 5 years, her husband and her parents had a huge conflict of interests. Her husband wanted the tubes removed to end her suffering but her parents insisted that she was a devout Catholic who wouldn't agree on Euthanasia.

This situation was brought to court. Now, on top of the ethical issues, they had the legal issues to deal with.

Who was right? If Terri could talk, what would she want? Who then should be the final decision maker?

THIS CASE MADE ME HAVE TO WRITE A 3000-WORD ESSAY WHICH I HAVE TO SUBMIT IN 2 WEEKS' TIME. I so wish Terri had signed the AMD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now, you can see that the AMD is a very powerful form. :)

..... .... ... .. .

My GOD reigns!
His love will NEVER fail me
My GOD reigns!
He's ruling over ALL

In ALL my life
In EVERY situation
I KNOW!
My GOD is greater!!!
My GOD is over ALL...

AMEN!!!

Bringing a little more life into the lyrics hehehe... :)

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Though it can be tiring juggling school, music (orchestra, quartet, piano) and church, I'm really happy doing what I'm doing. The next 2 months will be very trying for me as I'll be doing many new things which I haven't done before in my SHORT 21 2/3 years. =P

I feel the resistance, sometimes it weighs me down. I think it's a good sign? Meaning a breakthrough is nearing. That is, if I persevere.(Analogically speaking, I'm in the LABOUR phase now. =P)

*Sigh...* I wish I know what to do/say when situations are presented to me. But sometimes I don't... :( I just wanna give God my best... But I guess  my best isn't enough sometimes... :(

..... .... ... .. .

I wanna watch a MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Friday, October 24, 2008

Last night was a lovely night. :) Cos it was raining heavily and I was safe and snug at home! and was alone playing piano. :) Perfect!!!

I love rainy days cos it kinda slow things down and it's therapeutic just watching the rain fall. :)

I love rollerblading in the rain too, carelessly getting drenched!!!!! And laughing while rolling away wahaha. I know only Cai would do that with me. :) And she might even just stop and laugh at me if I fall down wahaha... =X

But I still don't understand why the rain is dirty? As what most people would think... Unless you're talking about acidic rain, which obviously is harmful. But generally "Singapore's" rain is ok? So what makes the rain dirty?

Haha... Maybe it sounds stupid, but I am just curious.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

 

Hey guys,

Please pray for me. Kinda choked up with lots of commitment...

1) Pray for strength, cos I'm mentally tired recently
2) For God to expand my capacity that I will not crumble easily under pressure

Thanks... I wanna cry now.................

:'(

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Laid down my head to sleep last night while listening to songs from Mamma Mia. I know they're not the most appropriate songs to listen to prior sleeping, but oh well... :)

Stretched my hand over my head to switch it off once I entered into a semi-conscious state. Ahhh... Now I was ready to sleep. My head was saturated with thoughts and plans for the next few days.

The moment I fell asleep, my body was jolted awake, quite violently such that my bed gave a creak. I was scared for a moment. I pulled my comforter up to my nose and fell asleep thereafter as if my body couldn't care less.

And the next thing I know...

.
.
.
.
.

Guess what? ;)

..... .... ... .. .

Anyway, today was just a BAD day. I had a strong urge to be alone. When that happens, I know something's coming up...

:(

It was quite strange too. After piano lesson, I had a 40-MINUTE talk with my teacher. 40!!!!! I was already wanting to leave cos I had to rush to church. But she just stood at the door, with her hand on the gate but not closing it.

I sensed that she had something more to say/ask so  I didn't rush off... True enough, one sentence led to another and we talked much from piano to relationships and everything in between. :)

Cool.

 

But still, I had a bad day.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

REALLY mad at myself today for all my carelessness. Did 3 careless things in 1 day!  :( Blame it on myself and the many things YET to be done which are constantly screaming for my attention. :(

Sigh... Seriously.........................

..... .... ... .. .

Happy that I could go for chc orchestra today! Really missed playing with them~~~ Don't know why there was this joy in my heart when I saw some of them. =)! 

Glad that the song for our upcoming performance is slowly taking form. Phew... :)

. .. ... .... ....

I'm very touched and encouraged by my connect group when I clearly see how God has slowly transformed some of their lives. It's really amazing.

It was very heartwarming to receive a call from a young member sounding so excited to share about how God has healed him...

And another new member called to tell me that his friend is joining us this Friday for THE EDGE. It's something quite "big" as he always chose to be alone and didn't like to talk much. Thank God that somehow we are able to connect.

("Member" sounds so distant, wrote that for simplicity. They are in fact special people.)

It shows that whatever effort we sow into God's kingdom, it is NEVER wasted. It's all these little things that motivate me to keep running the race.

:)

Monday, October 13, 2008

http://www.vpa.nie.edu.sg/music/kelly/index.htm

When I saw the last sentence of the 6th paragraph, my heart leapt and stopped for a split second. I didn't realise the significance of playing for Asia Conference... Now I know... But honestly, it hasn't sunk into my heart. Maybe cos I haven't been attending rehearsals regularly... :(

..... .... ... .. .

Suddenly my to-do list seems to be flooded with so many tasks... A flood comes overnight and mass destruction is caused by lack of preparation. So the next thing to do is to PLAN and have a good time management...

And the next best thing to do is to actually DO those stuff.

Talking to myself. :)

I can feel the stretch, it's causing friction.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Woke up exceptionally early today on a Saturday morning hehe. Had a dreamy night so didn't have a good rest.

Anyway................

Anatomy test result is OUT! Very happy with it cos it's way beyond my expectation. Thank GOD for that. :)

PhyZzzzzzio test was quite tough so I'm not looking forward to seeing the result. :(

..... .... ... .. .

Good news!!! (for myself)

I bought MAMMA MIA SOUNDTRACK CD. :)

Saw it at school's bazaar and I got all excited (as usual la), I told the auntie to reserve for me (cos it was the LAST one) while I took a shuttle bus to draw $$$ and rushed back! Lol...

NICE! :)

. .. ... .... .....

As for NUSSO, I volunteered to help out in the busking event happening soon. Will be contacting people here and there and can get to learn the "behind the scenes" of organising the gigs and all... Wow. Excited!

Will be involved in a quartet performance too, next week is our first practise... Hopefully I can manage the pieces... ARGH BUT I STILL CAN'T FIND MY APPLICATION FORM!!!!!!!!!

I am SURE I put it in my file!!!!!!! But now it's GONE! :(

Hmmm... Received an email from a Wind quartet... They are looking for cellists to play the bassoon part cos they can't find bassoonists...

Don't know if I should try... Lest I spoil the whole quartet. =X

..... .... ... .. .

Woo... CG meeting was great! WOW... The best ever so far for W472 hehehe.

It's about going back again and again to our FIRST love with God... To simply enjoying His presence and asking NOTHING in return...

:)

Ohh I'm feeling jumpy in my heart!

(^;^)v

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

I am QUITE mad at myself. I think I have some form of dementia...

Sunday - Forgot to bring HP out
Monday - Forgot to bring wallet + HP went FLAT...
Today - Forgot to bring HP + lost a form...

Argh.............

Think my mind's in a disarray...

PHYSIO test is TMR... Stayed back in school to study just now... Didn't have my HP so I lost track of time, only to discover I studied for 3 hours.

Wow COol.... School is so nice to study at night. =) So tempted to just stay overnight in school to save the hassle of travelling...

And the first thing I wanna do on the way home was to watch MAMMA MIA... :(

..... .... ... .. .

I wanna get a handphone, a printer and...

a tattoo. :)

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Guess what???

I just watched MAMMA MIA AGAIN!!!! The show just gets better and gosh I laughed at the same thing again!!! Haha. This time I watched it with a friend and it was a treat hehe.

AND I'D LIKE TO WATCH IT AGAIN!!!!!!!

The entire show just made me very very happy watching it hahaha. Audience today was fantastic, some of us sang together with the songs and we laughed spontaneous together. Lol... 

Everyone should watch it!

+ I really like the Starhub advertisement cos the main actor (the guy who was woken up by the white dog in the 1st scene) is near perfect looking and I like his style.

..... .... ... .. .

I was very encouraged today when a friend (you know who) told me that he felt better today after cg meeting. It may be just a small statement but to me it meant a lot.

I was just praying for him last night about some stuff cos he's been feeling heavy in the spirit for some time... So to hear that from him the very next day, really touched my heart.

It meant that God was in my room when I prayed in the middle of last night.

It meant that God heard every word that I spoke and He cares so much as to answer my prayer for somebody else.

It meant that God also heard my prayers for my family members and 2 others...

Actually, something funny happened while I prayed about a particular situation. I told God that I didn't know why things happened this way and He brought back a memory probably 2 months + ago when I prayed for God to INTERVENE in that situation.

So YES... He INTERVENED!!! Now I know why things happened 'this' way. I found it funny and I actually laughed a bit.. It was like "God.........~~~ Was that how you INTERVENED????" Hahaha.

Oh well, His ways are ALWAYS HIGHER than ours. And yes, I'm assured that all things will work out for the good of those who love Him.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

 

Kor's finally (officially) married yesterday!!! Why I said "official" is cos I have seen them as husband and wife long ago hehe. So he told me to at least act excited that they are married hahahaha...

It was a really looooong day... But quite an experience. ;)

IMG_1281

Stayed over at Shirley's house the day before... Feeling cranky at 1am~ Manifesting my love for colours wahaha...

IMG_1284

Wahaha, safely inside while the siong dis were trapped outside...

IMG_1341 

@ The Legends @ Fort Canning Park with the man of the day

IMG_1344

Jeff's family from Hong Kong

IMG_1363

Jeff + Shirley = Mr and Mrs Mak!

  IMG_1375

Taking a break in the bride's room after everything... Phew~

 IMG_1391

Tired but still wanna zi lian! (+ thinking of Anatomy test the next day...)

IMG_1400

Post wedding celebration @ Manhatten Fish Market

Thank God that everything went smoothly! Glad that everyone enjoyed themselves =)

..... .... ... .. .

Ponned 2 lectures today cos I was too tired. So I just went for Anat test... It was easier than I thought but still made a few mistakes... Sigh...

Physiology test next week...

. .. ... .... .....

Felt quite bad tonight for making my dad angry cos of what I said... So I smsed him...

Me: Sorry for what I said. =(

Him: It's ok?

I don't know why he put a "?" but I guess it's ok. :)

..... .... ... .. .

I really wanna thank God for teaching me so much these few weeks, for opening my eyes to my own mistakes and wrongdoings.

It's very important to get time off for self-reflection and it's good to know that we are not always right. Well, I guess everyone knows that but few can accept that.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Successfully woke up this morning after much struggle, and am now in the school library TRYING to study. I think the recess week has totally diminished my stamina to go school!!!

Anatomy test is on this Thursday, feeling quite stressed out cos I don't know how much I know and I am quite sick of studying already. Predict that I won't study the next few days cos of the wedding. Hmmm...

..... .... ... .. .

Indeed, there are many things which I don't understand and probably can't to. People's first assumption to that statement would most likely be BAD things that happened to me which I don't understand why.

However, in fact, there are many GOOD things which happened to me which I don't understand why too. Good things which I know I don't deserve. But whoever will question that? We just take it for granted that those things dropped from heaven and landed in our lives. No one will question further. We gave God our 1 sentence of thanks and we happily received.

(My vocabulary has gone way down to simply "good","bad" and "things"... It's quite a tragedy, pardon that.)

So why is it that people get "alarmed" when bad things happen in their lives? Can I say it's just as normal as having good things happening? Though it's near impossible to "happily receive" them, we can still thank God for all things at all time.

Circumstances may/will change, but God is the same yesterday, today and forever. AMEN.

We are assured and know that [[j]God being a PARTNER in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.

Romans 8:28 (Amplified Bible)

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Since it's the holiday, or rather recess week, it's good to take a moment to sort out my life. Gonna be long, just a sketch of my life. More for myself to read though haha.

PIANO

Since I was young I badly wanted to learn how to play a piano... But I only started learning when I was 13. Sigh. I didn't have a piano then, so my teacher gave me a long paper keyboard so I practised on that and imagined it was a real piano... And yes like you and me, we all started off with "Mary Had a Little Lamb" and "Happy Birthday".

My mum was the one who got me started, she's always supportive of me learning piano... She was the one who bought me my current 2nd hand piano at $5k+. It was a big risk considering I may discontinue learning after a while. But I didn't cos I really love the piano.

A few years back, my dad told me he actually named me after a pianist in church. I was very surprised. I hope I can serve God in this area... But currently no plan as in how to.

Plan to take my Grade 6 theory and practical next year. Skip Grade 7 practical and jump to Grade 8 the following year... If $$$ allows, I'll take Diploma.

CELLO

When I was 15, there was an open door for me to play the cello in my school's Chinese Orchestra. They were looking for just ONE more person. Word spread to me and I joined since the thought of learning an instrument for FREE was very tempting.

Involved in SYF and stuff but couldn't play well cos they didn't grill on the basics.

Used to have casual thoughts of me playing in an "ang moh" orchestra, just a day-dream at that time cos the vision was too far-fetched.

When our church formed an orchestra and performed @ Expo for the 1st time, I was thrilled. I couldn't keep my eyes off the cellists cos I wanted to be playing with them. Never did I know that some of them were actually Elgin and Lisa.

Got Steph to get me a Cello teacher since she was in NAFA. Bought a $1.3k cello and paid my monthly fee out of my own pocket. It was a big sacrifice considering I was/am not that rich. He taught me from SCRATCH and I'm very thankful for his patience with me. :)

Emailed Tat Haur that I wanted to join the orchestra and he invited me to join them. Very thankful for this opportunity since I couldn't even play decently. Always "kena-ed" from Eric and there was a period where I rejected my cello totally, didn't even wanna see it.

That was the beginning.

When I got into NUS, I so wanted to join NUSSO. To my utmost surprise, I passed the audition and got in. But I'm not sure if I'm up to it. :(

Yes now I've fulfilled my dream of playing in an "ang moh" orchestra. Truly if you can see it, you can have it. No matter how silly you feel at first for even imagining it.

Upcoming events:
- Service performance on 3rd wk of Oct
- Nov Asia Conference
- NUS Quartet busking during Xmas period

 NUS-NURSING

Whenever I passed by the highway next to NUS, I always wish I could study there one day. What attracted me were the running tracks and volleyball courts. I'm really happy to be studying there now.

In my 2004 July/August entry, I wrote that I wanted to be either a nurse or a counselor in future. In fact now I can be both. Haha. Thought of becoming a doctor too because the thought of working in an operating theatre is quite cool. But of cos my results were nowhere near fantastic. I still have a chance to work in an OT though. Hehe.

Most importantly, I want to spread the love of God to those who need it most and to be a bearer of God's light in people's darkest moments.

CHURCH

When I was 14, beloved CAI kept "pestering" me to go church with her. Man... How she was good in it. I didn't even know her personally then... I didn't even know how I actually know her. But in secondary school, everybody knew everybody somehow.

She "pestered" till I was nearly 15. When church first moved to JW, I finally went. But on the first day, I went ALONE cos I couldn't find CAI!!! (And I didn't have a HP then...) I was quite scared, I CRIED!!!! HAHA. 2 ushers escorted me to a seat in a corner.

New friend abandoned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wahaha...

But that day was a very significant day in my life. That day changed my entire life, it was the turning point of my life. I experienced the most wonderful love of all.

Yes and all these years I've been avoiding a calling - to be a cgl. I'm actually thankful to a special person who awakened my soul. Not sure "special" is the most appropriate word to use though.

Yes so now I got my direction and I'm working towards it. Slowly but surely. Thanks to MC and KL for being so supportive and to Shing who gives me the opportunity to.

..... .... ... .. .

So yes, this is roughly the plan and outlook of my life at this moment. Feel good to write them down. :)

Friday, September 26, 2008

 IMG_1000

9 months ago

n502975341_1253026_8289

During Jared + Jerb's wedding

DSC00141 

Joseph + Emily's wedding

IMG_1248

 

IMG_1253 

TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
MC looks so cute hahaha... They are really awesome friends! LOVE'EM!!!!

 IMG_1259_edited

Yes I must put this up!!! Cos I look mysteriously younger by a few years.  =X
(Purely a personal opinion, open to rebuttals)

..... .... ... .. .

Practised cello earlier on... Some songs for Nov Asia Conference... It just made me feel bad. Though I've improved but so what... I'm still not "THERE" yet... I still can't play like "the rest"...

I'm not sure, is it a musician thing to always struggle with this thought? Or just me?

And I didn't feel like playing the piano this week... Cos I think I sounded terrible each time I tried to play... Sigh. This is bad.

I don't know what has gotten into me...

Am I striving for excellence or perfectionism? Or I actually can't play at all...

Maybe I just need some serious renewing of mind...

. .. ... .... ....